on the cusp of...

i can feel it; it's in the air, plenty of hints are being dropped. i know this is what i eventually want to do, but now that it seems to be a matter of when and not if, i find myself hesitating.

i keep telling myself that i want to settle down in my career before taking other things into consideration, but if i can't even commit to what i want to eat for dinner at lunchtime, how much of a chance do i have at a lasting career? or a lasting-anything else?

everything is in place, now all i need to do is decide and act. all i want to do is take 9032850438502 years off and find myself. how cliched.

maybe i'm just a coward.