earrrrly this morning (4:30 a.m) my little sister called me, crying that she misses my mom (who's traipsing around europe with daddy as we speak).
first reaction: 'wtf what time is it??'
second reaction: no sympathy, cuz you could have gone but didn't want to
third reaction: kicks self for not being there for her.
so she ranted on and on, sobbing her little heart out. and the worst part is i know precisely how sucky that is. only difference is that, for me, she never came back, while for my sister, the mom is scheduled to return this thursday.
so similar, yet so vastly different.
i told her that it's pointless crying alone, cuz firstly, it never solves anything. secondly, you feel really shitty after that. thirdly, it makes your eyes puffy. so after a good cry-fest, you're left more miserable, with the same problem in your hands, and puffy eyes to boot. and when your eyes aren't as gigantic as, say, some gerbil's on speed, that's gonna hurt in the morning.
my point here is that while you're still a kid, life's problems are so simple and pure; i wonder why it gets more complicated as we grow older. perhaps problems are mostly self-created- we don't HAVE to agonise over this and that, it's not ALWAYS necessary for us to go do something that will satisfy in the short-run but is going to cost us so much more than that initial triumph in the days to come. and when we mess up... who do we go running to? friends? family? eventually we all die alone. such a bleak thought, but it cheers me up somehow to actually verbalise that thought, because we all know that we have to be strong for ourselves. but do you have the discipline to do that?
at this point in my life, everything is going so well that i'm suspicious; school is alright, friends are entertaining and... and i pause. but why?
