crawled back to the room with roomie after rugby module then icg bball then dinner-cum-supper. that was around 3 hours ago. i'm all nicely clean and showered, but am too tired to sleep.
have you ever been too sad to cry? something like that. when i tell people that i cannot sleep cuz i'm too tired, they look at me like i'm crazy. i suppose not many people like to stay up into the wee hours and think about.. nothing much in particular.
i guess everyone wants to feel good about themselves; no matter how unattractive a girl is, she'd want to doll up and look pretty. a basic human instinct? perhaps. nobody will WANT to look ugly, unless you're, like, super gorgeous and want acting credibility - ala Brad Pitt. but i wonder; when they look into the mirror in the morning and see themselves looking back, do they feel sad? i'm not trying to say that i don't have my ugly days la eh hello. some days i wake up and look at the mirror and sigh. i suppose, to other people, i look the same everyday, more or less. and i don't know if that's a good thing or not.
i'm enjoying myself in PESS; perhaps i'm having too much fun. sat down to read my readings (ummm what else can you do with readings) for rugby, and realised that it was the first time i actually sat down to really study since school started. le sigh. but i also realised that i'm indeed extremely fortunate to be in such a nice class, cuz i learned that perhaps not everyone is nice. or perhaps they're more reserved. or whatever. haha that's just a wussy way of saying that some PE people are bitches. *shrug* oh well you win some, you lose some. but so far, so good. on the other hand, it's unrealistic to expect to get along with every single person that i meet.
and i realised as well that, while i might shy away from physical contact and rough play during a game, when i;m sufficiently pissed off i can get pretty scary. i never understood why people tell me i look scary when playing touch, but maybe i'm beginning to get a faint picture now. like, don't touch me you sweaty bitch. seriously. UGH. i'm just lousy at bball la really. if my class flops at touch as well i'll just die. bah.
it's almost 3 a.m. and Roomie *with a capital R* is happily sleeping away.. and here i am, lying awake with so many thoughts swirling around. i hate it.
