Moved in chop chop to my new hall room yesterday, and today is my last day in this school.
How fast things change, and how easily we all move on.
But when i was cleaning the new room, it struck me how i used to be so happy moving back to hall in K*R, and how it feels so different moving in to another hall, starting afresh all over again.
Seriously, i'm too old to make new friends and be all ra-ra. not that i was siao-onz in K*R (maybe in my first year la but still), but now i just want to have fun and complete my course unscathed. i'm too old to really put myself out there- especially when i'll be surrounded by spring chickens. 19 year old girls fresh out of jc and thinking they're oh-so-cool now that they're in uni. sigh. were we all that young once? nehmind shilin shall be my accomplice in the oldies' club; eat, drink and be merry, i say. this is for all the pre-1985 babies. hell yeah.
Looking back, my experience here has definitely been a positive one; in fact, i'd go as far as to say that it made me more sure of my choice to become a teacher, at least for the next 5 years. I wouldn't be so confident of my choice if i were to have been posted to another school, i daresay. but then again, who knows? i learnt many things here; working in the education sector and the corporate sector is definitely different- duh. but that doesn't mean that teaching is the easy way out- for all you buggers who think teaching is not a 'real' job, think again. i could go on and on, but i suppose if you aren't in it, you'll never understand. oh well.
We're all constantly moving on and entering new phases in our lives- some go through professional change, while others go through more personal transistions. i'm not sure if all this has made me a better person, but it sure made me appreciate my crescent teachers. i may not have been their favourite student - are you kidding- but that doesn't mean that they didn't put alot of effort in to make something out of us.
And if change is unavoidable, why not do it with a bang? (ohh i like. HAHA) there's no point fearing change, since it's going to happen anyway, right? unless you're dead contented with staying put, then of course that's a personal choice as well.
ANYWAY.
Was reading kailing's post about friendships and all. and this is not a reply post per se (that speciality i shall leave to laremy) but i suppose it got me thinking about what i've already been podering about for quite some time now.
I suppose i'm not very good at keeping friends; i've never experienced those enduring kinds of friendships where you know a person for, like, 15 years or something. crez is my oldest friend, 9 years this year and counting. and even then, as i grow older, i'm learning that it's impossible for me to be there for my friends all the time. i like to think that i value friendships above most things, and that i'm as good a friend as i can be. but sometimes, just sometimes, if my friends go through a difficult time, and i'm not there for them, either by choice (theirs la) or circumstances, does that make me a bad friend? even if i wasn't there because they wanted to go through it alone, does it say something about the quality of my friendship?
And how about friends who don't make time for you- that's a tricky one, i suppose. i haven't contacted daphne for ages now, and honestly, i miss her but i don't really want to either. because, as kailing mentioned, it gets pretty old when a person is constantly flying your kite. if i have many other friends there's no reason to get upset over one friend, yes? No. i believe that every single friend enriches my life in a different way, and because - i admit- i'm pretty selective when it comes to being nice to people, i prefer to keep my friends. which contradicts my previous paragraph, by the way, but i don't care. but i'm learning that even if i want to keep ALL my friendships in mint condition, that's not realistic. nor possible. because people change, and their priorities shift as well. as we grow older, we look for different things in life. i suppose that doesn't make any of us a bad person, but i won't deny that it hurts when things like that happen.
i don't mind organising gatherings with my friends and all, but sometimes, just sometimes, i wonder if we'll never meet up if i don't ask. ya la i'm the most free one right, teacher what. but next time if i'm busier, then will i have to meet up with you guys only once in a purple moon? (not even blue.) this goes out to all you smelly people you know who you are haha but i still luff you ^^ i think.
