i went, i shopped, i returned.
and oh i don't know, maybe i just overthink stuff. cuz in between the shopping frenzy and happily guzzling down cheeeeeap cheeeeap beer and eating ALOT of yummy yummy yummy thai chilli stuff, i was left feeling kinda empty. besides the noxious fumes in my respiratory system and the neverending buzz of motorbikes still ringing deafeningly in my ears, that is.
it was too crowded, too hot, too dirty. when angeline was saying all these, i thought to myself 'nah i'll be fine, i'm not as ah kua as her'. boy was i wrong.
i hated all the taxi drivers who refused to give us metered rides. i hated all the tuk tuk drivers who'd descend like a pack of wolves on tourists laden with cheap purchases and perspiration. i hated the traffic, i hated the crowded alleys where people brush past you with their sweaty bodies. oh gross.
maybe i'm just spoilt, maybe i'm just pampered. or, like my mom laughingly said, i simply went to the wrong section of BKK. hello mother without a limitless credit card where do you expect me to go besides night markets and wholesale centres? argh. so why do i find so much fault with a place so many others like to go to? it's just me.
all the night markets we went to were just a repeat of the last; with so much competition, i wondered how they survive. we bought a mango salad from a street vendor for 20 baht- we mistakenly heard 70 baht, and he returned us the extra with a smile. walking away, i was filled with some kind of unexplainable sadness; he actually put in alot of effort for a salad that cost only S$2. and he could have taken the wrong amount, with me being none the wiser. but he didn't.
and yes, i went to see the pussy show, as they so delicately call it. big boobs, small boobs, sagging boobs, tired boobs. it was different from what i'd thought it'd be like- i certainly didn't expect women dancing on bartops, casually stripping and all. but then again, what did i expect? the ladyboy who sat next to me was so delighted that i was korean, she started talking all about how she'd gone to watch rain in concert the week before and all. and when they were amazed that i was so young, the first thought tat flashed across my mind was 'oh god you mean you've been doing this longer than i've been alive?' no matter how worldly or gung ho i want to believe myself to be, eventually, i'm just another sheltered girl.
argh. i returned to singapore with luggage bursting with the result of a week's shopping, and a gentle, agonising head and heartache that refuses to go away. it was really an eye-opener; i probably won't go back there, unless on a transit-shop-only thing. travelling really shifts your perspective on reality.
